the heart’s a cup, or a bottle, or whatever you want it to be

this emptiness i feel now.

sadness? depression? i don’t really know. i don’t really have to know.

this emptiness is temporary. it’s my chance to reset. burning the crops for a more bountiful harvest the next round, that’s what i can liken this feeling to (the burnt land, not the burning).

yes. i just poured out stale water, that’s why i’m empty. fresher water awaits!

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wanting (in school)

the reading material i barely understand. the feeling of being one of the most inadequate (in more than one class, no less). the constant procrastination. the constant hate for myself for procrastinating.

i can’t take it anymore. i want it to stop. i want to stop. i want to stop procrastinating. i want to get my life in order (haha, realise i didn’t say get my life BACK in order?).

i want to sleep regular hours.
i want to set my mind on a task, concentrate, then complete it within the necessary time needed for it.
i want to participate in extra-curricular activities just as much as i am now. hopefully even more.
i want to watch all my anime and read all my manga and maybe even watch a korean drama or two.
i want to…
i want…
am i wanting too much?
am i biting off way more than i can chew? can’t i have my cake and eat it too? (oo, rhymes)

i wish. i wish the concept of time wouldn’t interfere with the fun in learning. but alas, resource constraints.